<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Dupe by NiamhofTirnanOg</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148226">Dupe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamhofTirnanOg/pseuds/NiamhofTirnanOg'>NiamhofTirnanOg</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gordzilla [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spiralling into bad thoughts, TF stuff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:40:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamhofTirnanOg/pseuds/NiamhofTirnanOg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gordon wish he had a mirror, so he could see just how bad he looked.<br/>Having people scream and faint when they saw you wasn’t a confidence booster.</p><p>But Benrey could help him with that, couldn’t they?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Gordzilla [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dupe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This series is just a self indulgent way to write some short prose tbh lol</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ok, be honest with me dude. How fucked up is my face right now?”</p><p>“Uh, you look fine to me.” They lied. </p><p>Gordon sighed.<br/>
“Yeah, bullshit. Three different people screamed when they saw me today. One of them even fucking fainted.”<br/>
“Wow, weak”<br/>
“Benrey.”<br/>
“I- ok yeah, you’re looking more um… scaly, but, it’s not that bad. Those humans must have been total pussies bro.”</p><p>Yeah sure, the scales had spread but, it looked pretty cool honestly. Kind of had a messy half and half look going on. Like some kind of comic villain…. probably shouldn’t tell him that though. More likely to make him cry than laugh. </p><p>“God, I just wish I had a mirror or something, anything. I hate not knowing.”</p><p>“Uh… I mean, are you sure you wanna see your face? You freaked out a lot just from seeing your arm go all fucky.”<br/>
“I- ok. I’m scared, ok, but, I need to know. I want to know how much of my face is still… me.”<br/>
Benry didn’t get it. No matter what, Gordon would still be Gordon. Didn’t matter if he turned into a frog, or a fish, he’d still be him. The same, goofy, high strung, cute, self.</p><p>Gordon picked at his right arm, pick, pick, picking away. It had bulked up a lot, looked… muscly. Strong.<br/>
The scales covering it had lightened considerably, changing into a nice green shade. Pretty.<br/>
Like his eyes.</p><p>“Ben?”<br/>
Oh. Shoot, Gordon had been talking.<br/>
“Huh? Did you say something?”<br/>
Gordon snorted and shook his head.<br/>
“You’re such a ditz dude. I asked if you could get Tommy to smuggle in, uh, idk a hand mirror or something.”<br/>
“Whuh? Why.”<br/>
He stared at them blankly.<br/>
“So- so I can see my face? Dude, c’mon, we just talked about this.”</p><p>Oh.<br/>
Eh, yeah, they guessed they could ask Tommy to bring in something but. Well. There was another way Benrey could help him out with that.</p><p>“Uh, well- I could- could show you what you looked like without a mirror.”<br/>
It wasn’t something they had ever revealed the full extent of to Black Mesa, but… this was for Gordon.<br/>
They’d do a lot, if it was for Gordon.</p><p>
  <s>Except break him out.</s>
</p><p>“I could uh, shapeshift, make myself look like you. You could see yourself that way.”</p><p>Gordon blinked.<br/>
“I- what? Shapeshift? You can do that?”<br/>
“Uh, yeah, like it’s hard.”<br/>
“Could you really turn into like, a double of me?”<br/>
“Yeah, fucking easy, watch-“</p><p>Gordon backed away as Benrey began to shift-<br/>
Bones breaking, skin melting and reforming.<br/>
Not exactly painless, but eh, they’d been through worse.<br/>
Much worse.<br/>
They finished shifting with a sharp crack as their shoulder snapped into place, and they extended their right arm, now covered in thick scales, just like Gordons.<br/>
“Ta da~ there ya go. What do you think?”<br/>
Gordon stood frozen, staring at them- well, staring at… himself? It was confusing honestly. </p><p>“Is-“<br/>
Gordon finally spoke, gulping loudly.<br/>
“Is that what I… do- do I really look  like that?”<br/>
He stepped forward, reaching up with his left, unaffected hand, to cup their- his face.<br/>
He looked overwhelmingly sad.<br/>
“I’m really not human anymore. Am I?”<br/>
What was Benrey supposed to say to that?<br/>
Sorry?<br/>
Or maybe, “hey, humans are overrated, you look cool as fuck like this!”<br/>
No, that wouldn’t work either.<br/>
Maybe “I’ll love you no matter what so it doesn’t matter what you look like-“<br/>
Yeah that, that definitely wouldn’t help. </p><p>Aw shit, they took too long. Gordon was crying, tears rolling down his cheeks.<br/>
“Gordon-“<br/>
“It’s- it’s fine Benrey.”<br/>
Gordon smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.<br/>
“Thanks- I appreciate your help.”<br/>
His hand dropped down to their shoulder, in that oh so familiar patented Freeman shoulder pat.<br/>
“I- I’m pretty tired bud. Do you mind if we cut tonight short? I think I just wanna get some shut eye right now.”<br/>
“Huh? But-“<br/>
“Just… just go Benrey.”<br/>
Benrey shifted back to normal.<br/>
“I- did I do something wrong?”<br/>
They just wanted to help Gordon out- Did they fuck up?<br/>
… Did Gordon hate them now?<br/>
Their form began to melt and drip black ooze.<br/>
“B- Benrey?!”<br/>
“I- I just- I didn’t mean to-“<br/>
They were a puddle on the floor. Literally, just some black goop gurgling on the ground.<br/>
He hated them. He hated them. He hated them.<br/>
They were the worst. Awful awful awful-<br/>
Why did they even exist?<br/>
Couldn’t even make the one human they cared about happy. They should just- </p><p>They were brought out of their spiral by a panicked voice.</p><p>“Ben- fuck, are you ok? Speak to me man!”<br/>
“Ggggggggglllop-“<br/>
“Ok actually, don’t talk, Jesus wept you sound like the fucking Crypt Keeper- seriously though, you aren’t like, dying, are you?!”</p><p>Pff. That was a funny thought. As if they could die.<br/>
Black Mesa had tested hundreds of different ways to kill them, and none of them had ever stuck.<br/>
They always came back, eventually. </p><p>Oh, they should probably like, reassure Gordon they weren’t dying tho.<br/>
They extended a small goopy tendril, and shook it.<br/>
Gordons relief was palpable.<br/>
“Thank goodness. Are you- can I… touch you?”<br/>
Huh? Why would- their body was a mess right now, why would they wanna go anywhere near them? They were disgusting.<br/>
But… they did always feel better when Gordon was holding onto him…<br/>
They nodded their tendril, and Gordon reached out immediately to stroke their surface.<br/>
“Oh… wow.”<br/>
Gordons voice had turned soft. Made them feel funny. </p><p>“...Sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong bud. I’m just… a total wreck right now. Sorry for upsetting you.”<br/>
What? No, Gordon wasn’t supposed to be comforting them, it was meant to be the other way around, right?<br/>
This was all wrong.<br/>
“Hey- are you able to change back, or uh, you gonna be stuck like this awhile?”<br/>
“Gggloop”<br/>
“Uh, I’ll take that as a no.”</p><p>Gordon kept petting them and… it felt really nice.<br/>
“Ppppprrp”<br/>
“Oh, you like that huh?”<br/>
Gordon’s face wasn’t all scrunched up anymore.<br/>
He was smiling.<br/>
They were glad.<br/>
“C’mere-“<br/>
Gordon scooped them up, holding their gloopy, globby body to his chest, lying down on his cot.<br/>
“Do you mind if we just chill like this for a bit? I think... I think we both need it.”<br/>
Benrey agreed. It was nice being held. No wonder Gordon was always hugging them.<br/>
The two of them feel asleep, and for once Gordons bed felt just a little bit warmer.</p><p> </p><p>When Gordon woke later to find a reformed Benrey, if he gently placed a kiss to their forehead as they slept peacefully, well, no one would know.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>